Theme: “Fuel” Metallica

Signature Maneuvers: Single-Arm Pedigree, Senton Atomico

Height: 5’10                          Weight: 170 lbs.

From: Emmetsburg, Iowa

Reason for participating in this retarded activity: Unclear.

                In 1998, at the age of 18, Tony “Kamikaze” Cohoon, high school wrestler and promising alcoholic, went to work for Ritch “Morbidly Obese” Berkland, to make some money for liquor.  On the farm owned by the Berkland family, he met a young man (on his way to being morbidly obese) named Grant.  Together, the two of them founded a distinctly Unprofessional backyard wrestling federation, which Tony dubbed Ultimate Hardcore Wrestling (UHW), unaware of the staggering number of backyard feds named UHW that were already in existence. 

                The two of them, along with a few of Grant’s young friends, filmed two shows under the flag of UHW between 1998 and 1999.  Tony went by the name of Kamikaze (though I don’t believe he knew what it meant…), and Grant went by the name of “187” (in the days before he realized he was a deity).  Kamikaze, being the only remotely athletic one of the group, carried the shows on his shoulders, making them just-barely-watchable with his crazy dives and flips. 

                In 1999, with only two UHW tapings completed (one of which was lost to the ravages of time and the record button), Tony Cohoon left UHW, and the Berkland farm, to pursue a  career in the blossoming carpentry industry, much like his hero, Jesus.  Within a month of making this major life decision, Tony fell off of a rooftop (on purpose or not, we don’t know) and injured his arm severely.  From there, he disappeared from the radar, not contacting the UHW alumni foundation for some time.   Eventually, he turned up in South Dakota, apparently working in some sort of profession not having to do with injuring one’s self.  Sad.

                Despite having been present for only a small portion of UHW’s long run, Kamikaze’s legacy lived on through all of his predesescors.  Without his strange and inexplicable decision to hang out with a bunch of 13-year olds (and beat the hell out of his bosses son) then UHW, Danny Havoc, UHW:Deep North, and all other things related to them, would never have existed.

                Tony, whatever bar or jail cell you’re currently in, we here at UHW SALUTE YOU.